The Kingpin of Queens Way

I generally make it a point to not do anything I’m not naturally good at. Case in point: golf. I’m terrible at it and therefore, patently refuse to do it. I’m sure I’m capable (after all, I have mastered the art of putting on uneven pavement), but without having grown up playing it (tennis, baseball, volleyball) or having an inexplicable natural aptitude for it (yoga…seriously, Alex’s Wii Fit tells me I’m a Yoga Master), I’d rather be doing something else. I’m sure that doesn’t suggest a can-do attitude, but what can I say, I’m the teensiest bit competitive (translation: I’ll kill you.)

On this list of things I have no business doing and therefore generally elect to avoid is bowling. At best, I’m lucky. At worst, I’m unworthy of functional fingers and arms. I have actually been That Girl Who Somehow Manages to Throw the Ball Behind Her not once, not twice, but three times (incidentally, I also gave my dad a black eye with a golf club once…). Basically, I’m not just bad, I’m also a menace.

Or so I thought. Check me out (I’m Alic) on Friday night at Queens Ice and Bowl in Bayswater:


Oooohhh yeah. That’s a 140, fools. Read it and weep. In America, I’d get laughed out of the blue-collar club. In England, I’m a virtual Roy Munson (kudos if you got that reference).

Hmm...it makes me wonder what else I’m good at here in GB. There could be a whole host of latent skills London Alice possesses. Gentleman, protect your faces…The OckleShow’s going golfing.