The OckleShow: Where American politics meets 5th-grade science

There are only four things I remember from grade school science class:

1. The devastating effects of acid rain (a phenomenon that was drilled into us with gruesome, eerily disturbing pictures of blackening statues with their noses missing)
   
   
2. The mystery of The Doppler Effect (I like to dazzle boys with this one, because well, boys like cars and it’s about the only thing I know that remotely relates to cars)
   
   
3. The magic of prop roots (I just recall wondering if I walked around bent over for long enough, if I’d eventually grow a third leg)
   
   And finally,
   
4. Parallax.

For those of you who were writing notes or making spitballs or whatever the cool kids did in grade school (I wouldn’t know), this is the phenomenon that occurs when a stationary object looks different depending on your position relative to it. In other words, if you look at an odometer at constant speed from the passenger seat of a car, it might look like it reads 60 miles per hour, but if you’re looking at it straight on, it looks like 65. (Boys, look out. By my count, that’s two things I know about cars.)

As the date of my big two-week trip to the States nears, this otherwise seemingly irrelevant factoid keeps popping to mind (and every time is does, a sixth grade teacher gets her wings!). I have only spent a few months here in old Blighty, but I do feel like my perspective has shifted slightly. For years, I was looking at the States head-on. Now that I'm 3,000 miles to the right of it, suddenly some things look better, but frankly, others look completely askew.

Take politics, for example. I can’t even tell you how many times I have started writing impassioned posts about the current political situation in the States (including a misguided “Dear America” letter), and then for reasons too convoluted and too sensitive to list here, I have diverted them to my Recycle Bin. Bottom line: It’s too hard for me to be impartial, and even though it’s my blog and I can stump if I want to, I don’t want to risk alienating the OckleShow’s already meagre (yup, r-e) audience.

I will say this, though (you didn’t really think I could leave it at that, did you?). Transatlantic Parallax has afforded me a view on the election from the world perspective, and it being the world's perpective and all, I think it's probably safe to share.

I'll start with what I think really sums it up: The BBC recently did a American election survey (post-“Palin Bounce”) of 22 countries. As Russell Brand alluded to so delicately at the MTV awards, all of them preferred Obama.

Of course, this came as no surprise to me. I am constantly barraged with questions from Brits about how McCain is possibly managing to gain ground when the country is so clearly on a rapid downward spiral economically, socially and globally thanks to Bush (their words, not mine). They are usually looking to me to somehow explain the opinions of 300 million people, a feat that is of course not only impossible (although moose-hunting fans, you’ll be happy to know I have tried my best despite having never shot a gun or seen a moose) but also completely fruitless (I admit, I didn’t know what the Bush Doctrine was either).

The thing that scares me the most about the survey was not the possibility that America’s international relations could be worsened by a McCain-Palin victory, but that many countries already feel the States is too far gone…that our current administration has done irreparable damage.

I came here still naively believing in what they drill into you when you’re growing up—that despite recent setbacks, the US of A is the strongest international power, spreading peace and democracy worldwide. Not only is that so clearly not true anymore in the opinion of many non-Americans, but we are in a position to lose more ground (and turn it over those world powers waiting in the wings, many of whom don’t necessarily share our belief system) if we don’t gain a little international perspective of our own and start mending some bridges. And I don’t mean The Bridge to Nowhere.

Then there’s the economy. As you can imagine, the ripple effect of the Wall Street financial crisis is being felt here and all over the world. Of course, it seems ridiculous to people in the UK that the U.S. headlines read “lipstick on a pig” and “childhood sex education” when all the while, the international markets are staggering under the weight of the American-led credit crunch. It's my firm hope as an American, that come Election Day, people vote based on issues that really matter regardless of party preferences.

And closer to home, there’s healthcare. I’m living in a country where access to doctors and prescription drugs has never been free-er or easier (even with my cushy private plan in the States), and along with Katrina, the diminishing middle class, and the skyrocketing unemployment rate, I can’t help but wonder when—or why— the States stopped caring for its own huddled masses. We need to hearken back to our forefathers and remember what the country stands for, because without that, in my humble opinion, we're lost.

But awww, it's not all bad. Come on, America, I criticise because I love! There are copious redeeming qualities that I never fully appreciated until I left—like the constant opportunity to reinvent yourself (though Katie Price, god bless her, has made some headway here), the built-in charity of the people, and the aforementioned unwavering optimism.

At the end of the day, despite my newfound insight, I can’t wait for my flight to take off tomorrow. And no matter how long I’m gone or where life takes me from here, I imagine that’s how I will always feel heading back to the States. It will be nice to take a break from the side view and see things head on for a while. I call this phenomenon "Parrelaxation" (or alternately, paralackadaisical). You can add that to your science books, courtesy of the O Show.